Pro re nata.

a chance occurrence, ships crossing, more like a random harbor drop in, and suddenly, 15 years doesn't quite seem like fifteen years anymore. and of course you take stock, you wonder at the differences, the changes, and hindsight is always 20/20, or maybe it isn't, it is when the assumption is that things have been learned, and regrets carried, while still being happy for the path you took, and the person you became, but knowing now would change doing then, and the temporal paradox manifests. but still, some things never change, and it must be nice to have that rock, the stability, and i wonder how big or small the world really is, to go 15 years, yet still moving within the same space, in some cases the same neighborhood. but still unable to converse, to bring up topics, to share, give and take, and all the snippets that show up later in my head, hours, days later, but do me no good now. never good, and attempts to determine the root cause won't solve the problem, just recognize the problem. but seriously. wow. small world.

fear, fear from a glimpse, a glance, a wonderment of what is to come, what used to be, what never was, and how something so simple opens up so much, a reverse funnel, the spray setting on a garden hose, but that's all it was, a simple smile, but upon receipt a thousand questions, what, why, for what reason, and even with a newfound understanding, a realization, it still bothers, it still sticks, irritates, dirt under the fingernail, unable to shrug it off, and hopefully one day i will, i will return, and maybe that in and of itself is the reason, and the snake eats its tail.